I open Facebook for what may be the 20th time today. Yes, I'm quite sure I have a problem. It's a somewhat uncontrollable twitch of mine to feel connected to all that I am and once was familiar with.
I promise I'm trying to stop.
Let's take a look at my daily schedule of activities on the internet, shall we? I wake up and check my email. Then I proceed to look at Kotaku and Facebook. As the day progresses I draw and paint, or write. Or I try to anyway. I sit at the computer and start something, or stare at a blank page, until finally I ask myself, "I wonder if there's anything new on Kotaku or Facebook." Although these aren't the only sites I visit they are the one's I frequent most often.
Why?
To tell the truth I'm not quite sure. I've tried deleting my Facebook account several times over the last couple of weeks. But eventually I'd come up with some reason as to why I'd need it. My most recent reason being to advertise my blog. I have not done so yet as I'd like to have more content for my friends to come to first. I suppose it's because I have an easily satiated personality, being that once I receive a comment from someone I feel as though I have completed my job. As a result I feel the same smugness that a door from the ship in the Heart of Gold from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy would feel.
This feeling leads to a reward, one being issued by myself and usually leading to the end of my blog or project.
I suppose I have been fortunate to not have a comment yet. Although I do want one the lack of comments is rather encouraging, it's pushing me to do more.
Perhaps this has nothing to do with feeling connected, perhaps it's everything. Perhaps I'm just substituting my desire for information with the need to create and connect to others in this way instead.
Truth is I’m not really connected to anyone anymore. I'm connected to the idea of people and their ideas, but not really the person.
To live in such a disonnected age.
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